Moment of Truth
by LuciusDivius
Summary: LaCroix has allowed Nick and Nat to be together in Toronto but has discovered that this leaves him truly alone and questioning whether to continue his immortal existence. Depression sets into the elder, leaving the younger vampires in his circle wondering how to help him and Nicholas questioning his relationship with Natalie. Set late in the third season.
1. Chapter 1

I'd been standing in silence behind the bar, the bloodwine I'd poured long forgotten at my elbow. Urs came up behind me and wrapped her arms around my waist, nuzzling her face between my shoulder blades. I sighed and covered her hands with my own then closed my eyes and focused on the love and warmth she was sending my way.

"You're awfully distant tonight, LaCroix. What's wrong?" she asked.

I didn't know how to answer her so I held my silence but accepted her concern by stroking her arms in acknowledgement of it. She was still sending a huge wave of love and concern to me. I don't know why she loves me as fiercely as she does. She is not my childe, she is not even from my bloodline. I turned in her embrace and looked down into her haunted blue eyes.

"Just thinking, Urs."

"About Nicholas?"

I stiffened and she knew she had her answer. "Yes. About Nicholas. Hadn't you better get changed, we open in less than an hour?" I asked, abruptly pulling from her embrace. She let me retreat to my office without protest, turning with a strangely determined look on her face to setting up the bar for the night's business. Looking back now, I realize that I should have paid far more attention to that look than I did at the time.

It was nearly midnight and the Raven was in full swing as Vachon sat down at the bar and waved to Miklos. The dark haired bartender brought over a glass of bloodwine and left the bottle. Urs had called him earlier and asked him to come down to the Raven tonight, said she needed his help with something. Wonder what she's got going now, he mused. Urs was the happiest she had been since that night he'd brought her across in 1880. Even liked being a dancing girl at the Raven, which surprised Vachon greatly. She had been a showgirl as a human and was being raped by a man who'd seen her show when Vachon burst into the room, killing the man and bringing Urs across. Why did she like dancing here at the Raven so much?

"Hey."

Vachon looked up from his drink to see Tracy sitting on a stool next to him. She was obviously working tonight, judging from her clothes. Wonder where her partner is, he thought, glancing around the bar but not seeing Nick Knight.

"Hey, Trace. What brings you here tonight?"

"Urs. She called and asked me to come down tonight to help her with something." Tracy called to Miklos to bring her a soda.

"Urs called you?" Vachon asked, more than a little confused.

"Yeah. I asked her why she was calling me and she said it was a big problem, that she'd need all the help she could get." Tracy popped the can top and took a few swallows of soda. Vachon watched the movement of her throat as she swallowed in rapt silence, then startled guiltily when a voice intruded.

"Am I interrupting something?"

"Natalie!" Tracy exclaimed, turning around to face the coroner. "What are you doing here?"

"I was about to ask you the same question." Natalie replied easing onto a stool next to Tracy and waving to Miklos. He raised an eyebrow at the trio but brought another can of soda without comment.

"Um, I got a call from a friend of Vachon's that they needed some help, so I thought I'd stop by and…" Tracy's voice trailed off when she realized that Natalie was staring at her as if she had suddenly grown a second nose. "What?"

Natalie stared hard at Tracy and Vachon for a moment. " I came because I got a call from Urs asking me to come by and help her with something. What is going on here?" Natalie asked suspiciously thinking they'd been set up. And I know who'd do it too, she thought. LaCroix! Was he out after Nick right now? "I think I'll be leaving. Looks like Urs has more than enough help." Natalie stood to leave and ran right into Urs.

"Please don't go, Dr Lambert. This is a big problem. I need everyone's help." Urs turned and gestured toward a private booth near the rear of the club. "Bring your drinks and let's talk over here. LaCroix's not here right now, the broadcast equipment is in for repair and he has to do his show from the station for a week or so."

After a brief moment of awkwardness over the seating arrangement, Vachon had slid in next to Urs, leaving the two mortal women the other seat. Natalie was ready to get to the bottom of this strange business.

"Okay, Urs, what gives? What problem is so big that you need help from all three of us to handle it?" Natalie demanded.

Urs offered only a single word of explanation. "LaCroix."

Natalie looked angry, Tracy confused, and Vachon stared searchingly into Urs' deep blue eyes.

"What about LaCroix? Did he hurt you?" Vachon asked, desperately hoping that he had jumped to the wrong conclusion. He didn't hold much for his chances at challenging the ancient and he didn't really want to leave Toronto and Tracy just yet.

"Vachon!" Urs slapped his shoulder, eyes taking on a glint of gold as indignation hung in the air. "Why would you think such a thing? Of course, he hasn't hurt me." Vachon sighed in relief. "Geez," Urs continued, "everybody always thinks the worst when I mention LaCroix."

"Well, he is kind of intimidating," Tracy offered with a relieved smile herself, elbowing Natalie when the coroner snorted her opinion of LaCroix.

"So what kind of problem does LaCroix have and why are you trying to deal with it?" Vachon asked quickly, trying to derail Urs' reaction to Natalie's snort.

"He's depressed. I need your help to think of some way to cheer him up." Urs looked at the other three who stared back in disbelieving silence. "What?" she demanded when the silence grew uncomfortable.

Natalie rose to leave. "Urs, LaCroix can stay depressed for all I care, so long as he does it away from me and Nicholas."

Urs' eyes gleamed full golden in anger. "Sure no problem. Stupid to call the doctor who provides medical care for the undead when one is in need of some care." Urs sneered sarcastically. "Know any undead shrinks? No? Then run back to your precious Nicholas, he's the only thing you care about anyway."

"Urs! Don't!" Vachon pulled her arm trying to stave off what had the makings of a cat fight. "Tracy and I will help you."

"Sure, be glad to" Tracy chimed in.

Urs sat back with a final glare at Natalie, then looked away in dismissal.

Natalie shook her head and fled to her car. Of all the stupid…like I care if he's depressed. He's caused nothing but trouble for Nick and I. Natalie ranted to the air as she drove toward the coroner's building. What could LaCroix have to be depressed about? He had been worming his way back into Nick's life, Nick was starting to drink bottled human blood again, he should be happy! She parked her car and went back into the lab to finish the report on the Kowalski murder. After a few moments she flipped on the radio with a sigh, knowing that her curiosity was going to get her killed some day. The lab filled with the sound of LaCroix's voice as he broadcast his monologue, but something in its tone nagged at Natalie's mind. She stopped fighting it and turned her attention to that soft voice. The monologue was disjointed at best. None of the tones of seduction or passion that were normally present. I'll be damned, he does sound depressed.

Vachon was kneading the base of Urs' neck, trying to calm her down. He'd rarely seen her worked up enough to show her vampire to anyone. Tracy sipped her soda for a few moments then with a quick glance at Vachon asked Urs to continue.

Urs took a ragged breath and a gulp of her bloodwine before she spoke.

"I'm sorry. Tell Natalie I'm sorry. I'm just really worried about him. He's not himself, hasn't been for almost a month now. I thought the mood would pass but it hasn't. It's just getting worse." Blood tears ran unheeded down Urs' face as she spoke.

"Why don't you tell us how it started? When did you first notice a change and what was it?" Tracy asked, setting her soda aside. Vachon smiled to himself. Detective Vetter to the rescue!

Urs nodded, took a moment to drain and refill her glass to collect her thoughts then began to speak.

"It started just over a month ago, right after Nicholas got shot." Urs glanced guiltily at Tracy for bringing up that awful night.

"It's okay, Urs. Go on." Tracy reassured her.

"After Nicholas spent those few days here and got his memory back, LaCroix became really quiet. I'd keep finding him staring into nothing, not listening when I was talking to him. I thought at the time he was just feeling his link to Nicholas. Then, when Nicholas came in and told LaCroix that he and Natalie were engaged, and they had that awful fight, I knew that Nick had blocked him out again, or LaCroix would have known, been prepared for it." Urs glanced at Vachon then back to Tracy. "Why would Nick announce that in the middle of the bar without telling him first?" The others had no answer.

"For a week or so, LaCroix was just full of righteous anger. No one could approach him or talk to him, and business was fairly slow. Even the mortals picked up on his anger and avoided him. The monologues were absolutely vicious."

Tracy nodded. "I know. Nick listens to them in the car and I heard a few of them."

Urs looked at her searchingly. "Does Nick still listen to them?"

"Um, yeah, every night we're at work anyway. I figure he listens at home too. Why?" Tracy answered.

Urs put her head down onto her crossed hands on the tabletop. "Maybe Nick does still care about him. Maybe I should call Nick." Suddenly she grimaced. "No better not. He'll just argue with him. That's not what he needs."

"So after the vicious monologues then what happened?" Vachon prompted.

"After he let all that anger out toward Nick, he just started brooding. It's gotten worse and worse. He pours some bloodwine but never drinks it. He stares into space all the time, his shows have gotten, well, lackluster. Then last week he didn't get the bar stock order done. Liquor or blood! That's just not like him. When Miklos brought it up LaCroix just waved his hand and told him to handle it. He didn't pay the bills for the bar this month. Even after the utility company called he didn't pay it. I had to search his desk for the bill and write the check, then hound him for a day to sign it."

Vachon and Tracy traded worried glances. Both knew that the safety and well-being of the vampire community depended on LaCroix remaining firmly in control, and by Urs' account he was very far from that.

"Have any of our kind noticed?" Vachon asked.

"Yes, they're starting too. Some of the youngest who did something and got away with it are starting to feel fairly bold. Taking bigger risks." Urs turned tear filled eyes at Vachon. "What if they kill here? The Raven will have to close, the whole community scatter. I like it here. I don't want that to happen."

"Any other behavior out of ordinary?" Tracy asked quietly.

"Yes. He's ignoring feeding, like I mentioned. He isn't sleeping during the day at all or at least very little. He always seems to be up. And he's started…" Urs trailed off as the tears threatened to overwhelm her.

"He's started what?" Tracy prompted, letting her concern show in her voice.

"He's started giving things away. I heard on a TV show that people who withdraw and start giving away personal items may be thinking about suicide." Urs' collapsed into Vachon's arms as her tears began in earnest. "I'm so scared he'll go into the sun! We've got to stop him! We've got to stop him."

Vachon rubbed Urs' back and held her, looking at Tracy and seeing the concern in her eyes. Tracy nodded, confirming that this was indeed an indicator of suicide. Vachon was confused and anxious. LaCroix hadn't seemed the type to go for suicide, although it did happen to elders after a while.

"Urs. What sort of things does LaCroix like to do?" Tracy asked intensely. "Maybe if we can draw him out and back into some of the things he likes, we can help stabilize him until he can talk about it to someone."

Urs sat up wiping her face with a napkin. " Well, he likes art, opera, dancing, not this kind of dancing" she said gesturing toward the Raven's dance floor. "Ball room type dancing. He likes good plays and the symphony."

Tracy stood up, her mind hard at work on the problem. "I'll call you later. I've got some ideas." She kissed Vachon, squeezed Urs shoulder and headed out. Vachon pulled Urs close to him again.

"Don't worry. We'll stop him. We'll find a way to help him."

Tracy drove her car to the coroner's office while trying to think of some ways to help LaCroix. The situation was truly bad; if a vampire followed the same pattern as a human, then LaCroix was very close to committing suicide. Damn it, Nick, can't you put aside your pride for two seconds to help him! And damn Natalie too! Sure, I know that LaCroix hasn't exactly been father of the century, but then whose father is? Tracy parked her car and strode into the lab.

"Natalie."

"Tracy. Come to read me the riot act?" Natalie asked, pulling off her gloves and motioning the detective to her desk and a seat.

"If I thought for one moment it would help I would." Tracy retorted, sitting in the offered chair. "Urs wanted me to tell you she was sorry. She's extremely concerned about LaCroix and from what I heard she has every right to be."

Natalie nodded, accepting the young vampire's proxy apology. "I turned on his monologue. I must say he doesn't sound much like himself."

Tracy nodded. "It's worse than that. Urs says that he isn't feeding, isn't sleeping, isn't disciplining the young vampires; he isn't ordering stock for the Raven nor even paying its utility bills. And he's started giving away personal items."

Natalie looked up from the report she was jotting notes on with a start. Despite her personal feelings for LaCroix, the doctor in her keyed in on the red flags in the symptom list. "That sounds like someone contemplating suicide."

Tracy nodded. "That's what Urs is afraid of. The whole community will disintegrate if that happens. The only other elder in the city is Nick and he's not likely to want to stick around and run the show. So how can we help LaCroix?"

Natalie sat back and thought for a moment. How do we help LaCroix? I never thought I'd be contemplating that! But Nick would be upset if LaCroix committed suicide. Who are you kidding, Lambert, he'd be so consumed with guilt that he'd probably follow him!

"Well, he shouldn't be left alone. Someone should stay with him, try to get him involved in things, keep him doing things for himself. Don't do things for him, that just gives him the idea that he isn't really needed. And be prepared for a backlash of anger when he realizes what you're up to. And that may still not be enough."

Tracy stood to go. "Well, I'm damned well going to try. All three of us are. I'm calling my father to see if he can get tickets to the Lion King and I'm inviting LaCroix to go with me."

Natalie stared at Tracy in shock. "You're going to ask LaCroix to go with you?" she asked dumbly.

"Yes. Look, my father acts a lot like LaCroix. It's taken me a while to realize that when my dad is sneering in anger and pushing me away, it's only because he thinks that I'm gonna push him away anyways, and it might hurt less if he does it first. I think that's what LaCroix and Nick do. Try to hurt each other first." Tracy stopped with her hand on the door knob. "Tell Nick what's going on when you see him this morning." Then she was gone.

Natalie watched the door close in shocked silence. Is that what's going on here? she thought as she turned back to the report. All this time, have they just been trying to prevent getting hurt by hurting the other instead? She shook her head and turned the Nightcrawler's show back on to listen to LaCroix while she worked. Even the chosen music was morbid tonight. Mozart's Requiem. Natalie looked at her watch, Nick wouldn't be back from the prisoner extradition until nearly dawn, still five hours away. He was traveling with Captain Reese, no chance he could break off and fly to get home sooner. Still, she mused, she wanted him to know right away. Maybe he could listen to the show, get some clues from that. She picked up her phone and dialed his cell.

"Knight."

"Nick, it's Nat. Listen we have a personal problem we really need to deal with. I won't go into all the details right now, but I've heard enough to tell me that it's very serious."

"Nat, what is it? What's happened? Did LaCroix—"

"No, Nick, LaCroix didn't do anything to me" she said quickly, cutting him off. Is that what I sounded like to Urs? No wonder she got so mad. "It's about LaCroix though. Urs is really worried about him. He's exhibiting all the signs of clinical depression. Try to tune in his show and listen, see if you get any clues. I'll fill in the rest of the details this morning at the loft."

"Are your sure? Depressed?"

"Listen for yourself, Nick. See you at home." Natalie hung up, sighed and picked up the next file, with the mournful notes of Requiem still haunting the air of the lab.


	2. Chapter 2

I finished my radio show and left CERK studios for the Raven around 4 am. The music was still blaring and the dance floor still crowded. Don't they ever get tired of all this noise? I sighed and walked through the crowd directly to my office, closing the door behind me. I heard the door open and close. Guess who.

"Hello Ursula."

She smiled and walked toward me extending a goblet of bloodwine. "Here. I thought you might like a drink before bed."

I smiled in spite of my mood and took the glass from her, draining it half gone in a single swallow. "You're too thoughtful of me, Urs. I might get spoiled."

"Maybe I'd like to spoil you," she whispered and pulled me into a warm embrace. "I wish you would tell me why you seem so sad. I'm worried about you."

I tucked a finger under her chin and pulled her face up to look at me. She had tears in her eyes and such a sorrowful look that I pulled back in surprise. Then I cleared my throat and drained the other half of the goblet. "Thank you, Ursula. For everything. Right now, I just want to go back to my townhouse and get out of this noise. Will you close the bar this morning?" She didn't respond right away and I looked back at her to see indecision in her eyes. "What's the matter?"

"Nothing."

She lies very badly. What is the matter?

"Urs? Do you have a date to spend the day with someone? I can get Miklos to close if that is the case."

"No," she replied quickly. "No, it's not that. I just … well … I was thinking that maybe you'd like some company. If you were lonely or just wanted to talk or something … I could spend the day with you."

I watched many emotions cross her face but fear and concern seemed to be the prevailing ones. What was she afraid of? Had someone threatened her? I felt some of the exhaustion dropping away as the thought of some young fledgling doing her harm filled my mind.

"Why are you afraid?" I demanded, crossing to her and taking her by the arms. "Did someone hurt you? Threaten you? Tell me, and they'll never see this day's sun rise!" I growled out, feeling my fangs descending.

The Raven and its staff are mine! No one better dare threaten them until they have dealt with me!

"No! No one has threatened me. Just a few lewd remarks, but nothing I can't handle."

She winced and I guiltily loosened my grip. "Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," I said softly, massaging her arms where my fingers had left marks.

"It's okay. I'm a vampire remember? It heals quickly." She smiled as the bruising I'd inflicted began to fade already. "I'm afraid because you don't seem yourself. I'm worried for you, LaCroix. And I want to help you if you'll let me."

"What makes you think that I need help?"

Urs shrugged out of my grasp and turned away from me. I heard the tremor in her voice despite her efforts to control it. "I know you are a private person, you don't like to be beholden to anyone for anything. I know that. I just wanted to try to make you a little happier than you have been lately. That's all." She started to open the office door to leave. I pushed it closed and gently turned her to face me. Tears were streaking down her cheeks. I felt the exhaustion hit me full force and I stumbled backward to rest against my desk.

"Urs, I'm tired. Very, very tired. I don't know why, I'm too tired to find out why. I don't want to talk. I want to go home." I watched her face closely. Her tears continued, much to my confusion. "If you will feel better about it, you may accompany me to my townhouse and spend the day. I'll get Miklos to close the Raven." She stepped forward and gave me another hug. I reached up and wiped one of the tear trails away with my finger, then gently sucked the blood away. She tasted of overwhelming love and protectiveness. For me, dear heart? Why?

"I do want to spend the day with you. I'll talk to Miklos." She refilled the goblet from the bottle she'd carried in. "You drink this down. Then we'll leave."

She touched my shoulder and left the office quietly. I slumped into my desk chair and picked up the goblet. I wasn't hungry, not at all. Hadn't been for some time I realized. Still, I cannot bear to see that hurt look on her face. I drained the goblet and waited for her to return. Twenty minutes later, we were safely at the townhouse, the blackout drapes drawn and preparing to sleep.

Nick arrived at the loft a half hour before sunrise. Natalie was already there and had some bloodwine poured for him. "Did you hear his show?" she asked anxiously.

"Yes. Reese and I both heard him." Nick drained the glass and poured another. "You're right, he sounds depressed and tired. How did you find out? From the show?"

"No. Urs called me, Tracy and Vachon to a meeting at the Raven about it. I'm afraid I walked out of the meeting" Nat admitted ruefully. "But Tracy came over and described his symptoms and damn if he isn't exhibiting classic signs of suicidal depression. Urs is really afraid that he'll go into the sun if we don't stop him."

Nick looked up from his drink sharply. "Suicide? LaCroix? He'd never go that route."

"Are you sure?" Natalie asked. "What if you're wrong?"

Nick shot her an anguished glance, grabbed his phone and dialed the Raven.

"Miklos is LaCroix there? Where did he go? Okay, thanks"

Natalie looked at him expectantly. "Well? What did he say?"

"Miklos said that LaCroix left around 4:15 or so with Urs. They were going to his townhouse together." Nick started to dial the townhouse, then pushed cancel. "I think I'll let him sleep. Urs is with him, she'll take care of him for today. I'll stop by and see him at sundown." Nick suddenly felt a huge yawn split his face. "Guess I need to sleep too. Care to join me?" He held out his hand and smiled coyly. Natalie laughed and took his hand.

"I'd love to!"

I found Urs a robe and one of my pajama tops to wear. I went into the shower and just stood in the spray, hoping that the scalding hot water would ease away some of the exhaustion I felt, but it only seemed to deepen it. I closed my eyes and drifted to a half sleep state. I don't know for how long. Suddenly I was aware of her presence in the shower.

"Urs, really I'm too tired to play," I protested starting to turn to face her. She stopped me from doing so.

"I'm not playing. I can feel how tired you are. Let me take care of you, LaCroix." She gently kneaded my shoulder and neck muscles. "Let me bathe you and take care of you."

Her touch felt so good. I was so tired. I just stood in the spray like I was in a trance while she took a thick wash cloth and soap, washing and massaging my entire body. She carefully reached up and washed my hair as well, massaging my scalp as she had my body. It was so relaxing I wasn't certain I could stay on my feet much longer. She must have sensed my thoughts because she immediately turned the water off and drew me out of the shower to sit on the bench while she meticulously dried me and dressed me in the bottoms that matched the top I'd given her to wear.

She pulled me to my bed and, well, tucked me in, before climbing into the bed herself. She spooned herself right up against my back. I knew I was too tired to have sex with her but she'd done so much for me I thought perhaps some thanks was in order. I started to turn toward her but she tightened her hold and stopped me.

"No, LaCroix. I'm not trying for anything here. Just lie still and I'll hold you while you sleep," she whispered.

I relaxed into her arms and after a while felt myself drifting off to sleep.

Nick woke up with Natalie curled up next to him. He stroked her hair for a minute while inhaling the scent of her blood. Beautiful scent of jasmine! He lingered for a moment then slowly extricated himself from her and the bedding. He looked back at her while he put on his robe, then took a deep breath and headed for the shower. He set the water and stripped, then grinned as he caught sight of himself in the mirror. Better add a little more cold water!

As he showered and shaved, Nick pondered what to do to help LaCroix. They hadn't really spoken since Nick had announced his engagement to Natalie in the Raven. Nick grimaced as he remembered the rage he felt radiating from his father that night. Slick move, Knight. he thought, vigorously toweling himself down. You should have told him first, fought it out, then announced it to the community in the Raven. Natalie is safe from attack only because the other vampires fear LaCroix. If they get the sense that he has withdrawn his protection… Nick shook his head angrily. As angry as LaCroix had been, Nick wouldn't believe his sire would do that. There had been something else behind the rage in LaCroix's voice that night. Nick had thought about it a few times since but couldn't identify what it was. Maybe it's time to find out.

Natalie was awake when Nick emerged from the bathroom. He crossed to her and gave her a long, deep kiss. She smiled and pushed him away.

"Not now, Knight! My turn for the bathroom. You go see LaCroix."

Nick stuck out his lip in a brief pout, then turned to dress. Natalie stood watching him, came over and straightened out his collar.

"I hope you can help him," she whispered then disappeared into the bathroom. Nick put on his holster and jacket and headed for the lift.

"Me too," he whispered as the lift doors closed.


	3. Chapter 3

Nick stood on the doorstep of the townhouse and opened the link to his master. He felt LaCroix answer slowly, lethargically. A few moments later the door was opened by Urs. She pulled him in and relocked the door, then wrapped Nick in a fierce hug.

"I'm so glad you're here. He's in the den." Nick hugged her back and headed for the den. LaCroix was seated in one of the overstuffed chairs in front of a roaring fire, a glass of bloodwine untouched on the table beside him.

"LaCroix?"

"Nicholas."

Nick walked around and picked up another glass, poured himself a glass of the bloodwine and sat in the other chair. LaCroix did not look up or acknowledge his presence in any way.

"I thought I'd have 'breakfast' with you, Father," Nick said, holding up the goblet as if to do a toast.

LaCroix's head snapped up at Nick's use of "father", eyes suddenly blazing with anger. Nick's smile disappeared as he stared at the very angry vampire in front of him.

"How dare you, Nicholas!" LaCroix hissed sharply. "You ordered me away from your life last month, made your feelings clear in front of the entire community! Are you here to gloat over your victory? Go back to your Natalie, Nicholas. It is clear you have no further need of me. Get out." Nick stared back in silence, unsure what to say in response. LaCroix surged out of the chair, slapping away the goblet of bloodwine and pulling Nick to his feet. Nick was too surprised to put up any resistance and felt himself pushed headlong toward the glass picture windows.

"Get out!" LaCroix was practically howling with rage as Nicholas crashed through the glass and into the garden below. Nick heard Urs come in urging LaCroix to let him go. He picked himself up and listened to hear if he would have to come to Urs' rescue, but heard no other signs of violence. He floated up to where he could see into the house without being seen. LaCroix was again seated in the chair, his face covered with his hands. Urs stood next to him in tears, her arms wrapped around his shoulders. She seemed safe and able to calm the storm of LaCroix's intense anger. Nick flew off with a great sense of confusion, heading to the precinct house to talk to Tracy. Maybe she could make some sense of what was going on.

"Hey, Tracy."

Tracy looked up from the report she was typing to see her partner standing uncomfortably next to his desk. Normally he was immaculately dressed but tonight his clothes were disheveled and dirty. Was that glass on his sleeve?

"Nick? Are you okay?"

Nick nodded. "I need to talk to you. Privately. Can we go for a ride?"

Tracy looked up at his eyes, saw anguish in them, and deduced that he'd been to see LaCroix. She jumped up, grabbed her coat and his arm and headed them for the parking lot.

Neither said anything for a few minutes as Nick guided the caddy through the heavy traffic. He pulled into a park and shut off the engine before turning to Tracy.

"I went to see LaCroix. He didn't want to see me. He threw me out the windows." Nick admitted quietly. He watched Tracy's reactions carefully. He knew that Tracy had found out that Nick was a vampire. Did she know LaCroix was one too? Should he tell her? Was her safety in danger?

Tracy nodded. "Did he say anything? Or did he just throw you out? Did he let you in initially?"

Nick took a deep breath and threw caution to the winds. "Yes. He did let me in initially. Urs was there with him. He had a glass of bloodwine but hadn't drunk any yet." Nick shot a sidelong glance at his partner to gauge her reaction to this.

Tracy reached out and pulled on Nick's chin to make him look at her. "Nick, I know about you being a vampire, I know about LaCroix being a vampire and I know that he's the one that made you and that you two are linked by this bond. Now can we just cut to what happened and stop the tap dancing?"

Nick smiled at her, kissed her fingertips. "I'm glad you know, Tracy. It's still dangerous for you, but…" he put a finger over her lips to prevent her protests. "But, I'm very glad you know. It'll make things easier."

"He answered me through the link very lethargic. Not at all the feeling I normally get from him. And he isn't responding now if I reach out. Normally he's there, waiting for me to reach out. Now it's like he, like he unplugged the phone. I sat down with a glass of bloodwine and said 'I thought I'd have breakfast with you, Father.' He erupted in anger, said that I'd made my feelings clear, that I was just gloating over my victory. Told me to go back to my Natalie and get out. When I didn't respond or move he knocked the glass out of my hand and threw me out. Literally. I flew back up to listen, to make sure Urs was safe. He'd sat back in his chair and she had her arms around him. She was crying." Nick idly ran his fingers on the steering wheel. "Natalie told me what Urs said. I think she's right. I think he is thinking of committing suicide. And I can't think of a damned thing to do to stop him."

Tracy sat quietly, looking at her fingers, debating what course to take with her partner. Finally, she too threw caution to the winds.

"Nick, do you love him?" she asked quietly.

"What!" Nick snapped his head around to glare at her.

"I said, do you love him?" Tracy repeated, louder but calmly.

"What does that have to do with this? This all started after Natalie and I got engaged. Just another ploy to pull me to him and away from Natalie. I can't, OW!"

Tracy had just slapped Nick across the face. Hard.

"What was that for?" Nick demanded.

"That was for turning this into something about you! What the hell is wrong with you? Can't you stop thinking about yourself for two seconds and think about him first? He's thinking about suicide, Nick! If he weren't you sire, would you be acting this way or trying to help him?" Tracy glared at Nick, clearly expecting an answer.

Nick turned to look out the window. Can I set aside our history to help him? I could for anyone else. Can I do it for him? Nick looked back at Tracy, who crossed her arms and glared again.

"I'm still waiting for an answer, Nick. Do you love him?"

Nick met and held Tracy's eyes. "Yes. I love him. That's part of what's caused this problem."

"Have you told him so?"

"No."

"You should. Then prove it to him."

Nick laughed and looked away. Tracy punched him in the arm.

"This is serious! We're talking about his life here!"

"I know it's serious, Tracy. But to prove love to LaCroix means a little more than sending flowers. He settles for nothing less than total submission in every way, including sexually." Nick closed his eyes, unwilling to see what kind of reaction that would bring to his young partner's eyes. "I don't know that I can do that anymore."

Tracy sat still for a long while, absorbing this latest bit of information. Then she took a determined breath and pronounced, "Then it's time someone else had a go at showing him love."

Nick's eyes snapped open and he grabbed his partner's arms, ignoring her gasp as his fingers dug into her flesh.

"You will not," he growled out, eyes flashing golden, "have anything to do with LaCroix."

Tracy jutted out her chin in defiance. "Jealous?"

Nick glared a moment longer then released her, the vampire fading from his eyes. "Yes. But I'm not sure over who," he admitted.

Tracy blushed. "I'm flattered, Nick, and if it weren't for Nat and Vachon, I'd say screw regulations…."

"Interesting turn of phrase."

Tracy blushed even harder and slapped Nick on his shoulder again. "You're incorrigible, you know that?"

"It's been mentioned before."

"I'll bet," Tracy snorted. "Someone has to reach out to him, Nick. If you won't or can't, then Urs, Vachon and I will. I asked my father to get me a pair of tickets to the Lion King, front row balcony and I'm going to ask LaCroix to go with me. Now," Tracy turned on the seat to face him. "Any ideas as to how to get him to agree?"

Nick remained silent for a moment. "Well, if you're determined to try the only advice I can give you is to be brutally honest. He'll be angry, but it'll be worse if you lie at all and he finds out."

I don't know how long I sat in that chair after I threw Nicholas out the window. I realized that I was still in Urs' arms and pulled her down to sit on my lap. I took out my handkerchief and wiped away the blood tears.

"Don't cry, Urs. This sort of thing happens all the time between us." I tried for a light hearted tone, but she wasn't buying it. I sighed and hugged her a moment. "Thank you for being here, Ursula." I held her tight for a moment then released her and propelled her to stand. "Now let's go and open the Raven."

"Okay." She entwined her fingers with mine and we flew to the Raven that way. I sat down at my desk. She poured more bloodwine.

"Please, drink. You didn't get anything at the house. Please?"

I looked up into those innocent blue eyes and smiled resignedly. "All right." I took the glass, held it up in salute, and drained it down. She promptly refilled it and stood looking at me expectantly. I chuckled and drained that one down too. She smiled, gave me another tight hug around the shoulders and went to set up the bar.

After I'd made arrangements to have the windows at the townhouse fixed and the mess cleaned up, I looked at all the paperwork covering my desk. All of it should have been handled already, but I just didn't have the heart to face it. I left it behind and went into the bar to help Urs stock and set up for business.

Urs, Miklos and I worked in comfortable silence for an hour or so. The others who sought sanctuary in the Raven's back rooms were sitting in small groups in the corners, drinking and talking amongst themselves. I liked this time of day at the Raven. Before the music and the lights started, before the mortals who forced us into our masks arrived. It reminded me of Rome. I glanced at the clock and sighed. It was time to open the doors. Urs squeezed my fingers and looked at me sympathetically. Did she understand? How could she? She was the product of a different culture, a different time. I handed her the keys and she proceeded to unlock the club. A small line of mortals and vampires had already formed outside. The bouncer began to check them through as the lights and music came on. I decided that paperwork was beginning to look more attractive and escaped into my office.  
I hadn't been at my desk for more than five minutes when there was a knock at the door. That didn't take long, I mused. What could have happened already?  
"Come in, Urs."  
The door opened but it wasn't Urs. It was Nicholas' mortal partner, Detective Vetter. She closed the door and walked up to the desk.  
"LaCroix."  
"Detective. Won't you sit down?" I figured I'd better play nice. I needed Vachon and Urs to help with the bar, it wouldn't do to alienate their friend.  
"Thanks."  
"Would you like a drink?" I asked as she sat. "I can ask Miklos to bring you in something."  
"No thanks. I can't stay long, I'm on duty." She looked at me hard for a moment. Wonder what's on her mind. I have the feeling I'm about to find out. Her eyes are the same color as Ursula's.  
"LaCroix, Urs has told me that you aren't yourself lately." I felt myself bristling with anger at Urs' for betraying my feelings to a human, but before I could shoot back a retort, she continued.  
"Don't be mad at Urs. She's really scared. She loves you and she's afraid you're going to do something stupid, like go into the sun."  
I sat back, calming a bit. This did explain her odd protectiveness of me.  
"Well," I said with a sneer, "now I have an explanation for Nicholas' visit this morning. What are you here for, Detective? Afternoon tea?"  
"No. I'm here to tell you that I care whether you live or die. I care when my friends are upset and need help. And weird as it may seem, I care about you."  
I laughed derisively. "Please Detective, spare me you concern. Save it for Vachon and Urs. I have work to do."  
"Why are you so depressed?"  
The quiet question caught me off guard. She looked directly into my eyes and asked it again.  
"I'm not depressed, I'm tired."  
"Tired of what?"  
"I really have no desire to discuss it with you."  
"Than who would you feel comfortable discussing it with?"  
I flashed my eyes and teeth at her. "You're as tenacious as a bull dog, Detective Vetter. I have no intention of discussing my personal business with anyone."  
"Tired of what?"  
I was confused at this response until I realized she'd dropped back to her questions again.  
"Perhaps you didn't hear me correctly? I am not discussing this!" I shouted, loud enough to be heard in the bar.  
"Tired of what?" she asked yet again.  
Gods, this woman is relentless! I jumped out of my chair and circled behind her. I could feel her heart rate jump. She was nervous, fearful. Good.  
I leaned down and gently pulled her hair away from her ear, whispered into it, "I am not discussing this, Detective Vetter. I suggest you back away from this rather dangerous line of questioning." I felt her shiver, saw her close her eyes and take a breath. I backed away and she stood up. Finally. She's gotten the point. Now to get her out of here.  
"Thank you for your concern, Detective, but I assure you it is unnecessary. Good evening." I walked back to my desk and sat down, expecting her to leave. She didn't. Damn. I looked up at her, couldn't read the expression on her face. "Something else, Detective?"  
"Yes. There is." There was a firmer tone in her voice. The kitten has claws.  
"Friday night, I have two tickets to the Lion King, front row balcony. I'll pick you up at sundown. Be ready." She turned to leave. I moved with vampiric speed to intercept her before she could.  
"Be ready? Since when do I come at your beck and call?"  
"I'm gonna give you three choices, LaCroix. One, you can answer my questions. Two, you can kill me. Three, you can go to the Lion King with me on Friday night. What's it going to be?" She met my gaze head on and I could see the conviction behind them. I turned away and sat back at my desk. There was no way I was going to answer her questions. I could easily kill her, but couldn't face the mayhem that would cause with my staff who all liked her. I'd been maneuvered into a trap. I raised my eyes to look at her, raised a glass in salute.  
"Very well, Detective. I will 'be ready' Friday at sundown."  
She nodded and left without another word.  
I truly had no intention of going. Anything to get her out of my office without any more fuss. I looked at the paperwork again, then pushed it onto the floor in frustration. Oh, what the hell! Why not go? Better to be watching what was purported to be an excellent show than enduring another night of dance music at the Raven.  
I reached down and picked up the nearest paper and began to fill it out, feeling strangely better at the prospect of going to a show. It had been too long, I thought since I had done so. It just wasn't fun to go alone.


	4. Chapter 4

I awoke late Friday afternoon in my apartment above the Raven. I'd decided to stay here instead of the townhouse so that Tracy wouldn't know where the townhouse was. Not that I think she couldn't be trusted with the information but … some survival instincts run very deep. Never let a mortal know the location of your lair. I lay in bed awake for some time, wishing I'd never agreed to this plan. I made up several excuses why I couldn't go but none seemed good enough to convince Detective Vetter. An hour from sundown I rose and went into the shower, resigned that I would have to see this thing through. I had given her my word and that still meant something to me.  
After showering, I went into the walk-in closet to look for something to wear. I chose one of the linen suits I'd had made earlier this year. Double breasted, with a high necked silk vest, and black, of course. I automatically reached for a black silk shirt but something white caught my eye. I pushed aside the black shirts and found a single white one, fine and translucent silk sewn with tight pin pleats. A gift from Nicholas. I wanted to put it back, hide it from sight but couldn't seem to make my arms move. Finally I took the white shirt and the suit and started to dress.  
As I slipped my arms into the soft silk I imagined that the sleeves were Nicholas' arms slipping around me from behind as they had so long ago. Enough! I buttoned the shirt and grabbed the trousers. Nicholas is gone. The past is long dead. Just finish dressing and get this night over with.  
I heard a knock on the apartment door as I was picking up the jacket. Slipping my arms into the sleeves I called out to let Urs in. Who else? She smiled brightly and stepped behind me, smoothing the collar of my jacket.  
"You look very handsome this evening."  
"Thank you, my dear." I picked up the sword stickpin to hold the collar closed but hesitated. It didn't seem quite right with this shirt. Urs put her hand over mine.  
"Don't wear that tonight. You need something that will stand out against your shirt." She took the stickpin from my hand and opened the top drawer of the bureau, looking through the assorted pins and cufflinks I'd placed there. "Oh! Wear this set, LaCroix! It matches your eyes!" Urs turned and held up a gold set with pale sapphires set in them. Another gift from Nicholas. Was there no end to this torment? I really must go through my belongings and remove the things he gave me.  
I looked at Urs to refuse the jewelry and met those beautiful and haunted blue eyes again. Damn. I cannot refuse that look. I silently held out my hands to her and she set the cuff links in place, then fastened the stick pin at my collar.  
"Perfect. Look in the mirror." I obediently turned to the mirror. Hmmm. They do match my eyes. Nicholas would be pleased if he … Stop! You have got to stop thinking about him every moment of the day. I turned my back on the mirror and took Urs by the arm.  
"Shall we go downstairs, my dear?"  
She put her hand over mine and smiled. "We shall."  
Vachon was standing behind the bar and looked up as we entered. I met his gaze for a moment, then reconsidered what I was about to do. Detective Vetter had been marked by Vachon. Ruling Elder or no, I had no right to her, although he could do nothing to stop me if I chose to have her. But Vachon had proven a valuable ally and employee, as had his childe, Urs. Both had even become friends with Nicholas.  
"Vachon," I started hesitantly, "If you would rather that I did not associate with Detective Vetter, I will –"  
"Stop," he said, holding something silver in front of me. A flask. "Go to the show and have a good time."  
I took the flask and put it into my jacket, giving him a deep nod of appreciation and thanks. Then I took the bloodwine that Urs had poured and sat down to wait for Detective Vetter to arrive.

Tracy pulled her Taurus up to the front doors of the Raven just at sundown. The bouncer was standing outside the heavy metal doors. Funny, he should be out here already, the club won't open for another hour yet. The moment her car stopped the bouncer moved, reaching her door and opening it for her. Tracy smiled. LaCroix's idea no doubt. He closed the car door and followed her to the club doors, holding one open for her. Tracy murmured her thanks and ducked into the bar.  
Tracy met LaCroix's eyes immediately and she felt herself blush as he took a long look at her from her feet on up. She'd chosen a navy evening gown, shot with silver threads that reflected the light at all angles, cut so that one shoulder was bare. She had pulled her hair into a chic upswept style. Okay, so I know how to dress to get a vampire's attention. So sue me. LaCroix put his glass aside and walked forward to take one hand in his which he bent over and lightly kissed.  
"Detective Vetter. You look perfectly bewitching this evening."  
Tracy felt another blush rising. She held his fingers when he would have released her and stepped back, clearly giving him the once over.  
A ghost of a smile touched those pale eyes for just a moment and was gone as quickly as it had come. "Do I pass muster?" he asked softly.  
"You look magnificent. And tonight I won't stand for any of this Detective Vetter nonsense. Call me Tracy."  
He chuckled lightly as she released his hand. "Very well, Tracy. Then I insist that you call me by my given name, Lucien."  
"Lucien. Well we'd better get going, traffic is fairly heavy tonight."  
LaCroix extended an arm to her, which she accepted and they made their way back out to her car. The bouncer was standing nearby and leaped up to hold the door open for her while LaCroix settled himself in the passenger seat. A moment later, they pulled out onto the street and were on their way.

After a few minutes Tracy glanced toward her silent passenger. He was staring out the side window, elbow on the door and chin resting on his knuckles. Tracy shook her head. Geez, like father, like son. He zones out just like Nick!

"Hey, you in there?"

"Hmm? Yes, I'm sorry, Detect—Tracy." LaCroix straightened and gave her his attention. "Just thinking."

"I think you'll like the show. It's gotten rave reviews."

"Yes, so I've read in the paper. It's been awhile since I went to a show."

Tracy glanced sideways at the wistful tone that had crept into that smooth voice. "What was the last show you saw?"

LaCroix grimaced and looked away. Tracy could swear he was embarrassed.

"Come on, tell me," she grinned, teasing.

"Dracula," he whispered.

Tracy nodded solemnly, holding her breath and biting her lower lip. He shot her a glare meant to stifle her reaction. Too late! she thought and burst out laughing. LaCroix continued to glare at her but she could see a faint smirk hiding underneath that malevolent glare.

"You didn't! Dracula? How weird is that?" she gasped out.

"It was amusing." LaCroix gave her a ghost of a smile and stopped glaring at her. It wasn't working anyway.

They rode in a comfortable silence until they reached the theater. All the lots had 'full' signs out.

"Damn," Tracy swore. "Guess it's gonna take a bit to find someplace to park."

LaCroix glanced around and pointed to the valet parking area. "Allow me to pay for valet parking." Tracy was about to protest when he placed two fingers on her lips. "Please. If you had been able to leave earlier than sundown there would have been parking available. Indulge me."

Tracy shook her head again and swung into the valet area. "Okay. But I don't mind and it's not your fault." The valets held the doors open for them. LaCroix gave them a bill. She couldn't see how much he'd given them but judging from the way they came to attention and stammered thanks it had to have been fairly large.

He placed his arm around her waist and guided her into the theatre. Every eye was watching as they made their way to their seats. Tracy was amused. No way. We aren't the best dressed or even the widest age gap here tonight. No, they're sensing his aura. This should be fun.

LaCroix saw her seated before he took his own seat and gave her the barest smile. Tracy smiled back and twined her fingers with his. She felt him look up at her, puzzled but she didn't look at him or offer any explanations. Just lightly held his fingers with her own. Moments later, the house lights came down and the show began.

After the show there was a reception in the mezzanine for the top price ticket holders. Tracy hadn't mentioned it to Lucien, she'd decided to wait, to see if he enjoyed the show first. She needn't have worried. Lucien had thoroughly enjoyed the show and readily agreed to go to the reception. There was some African style music in the background, and a fine spread of wine and dainty treats. Lucien had gotten them both glasses of red wine and stood by while she talked with some people she knew through her father, the Police Commissioner. He was polite and charming to her father's friends, which she was very grateful for. They were such a bore, but she didn't want to be rude.

She felt Lucien suddenly move closer, one hand on her waist while he leaned gracefully over her bared shoulder. Tracy glanced up uncertainly, then followed his gaze across the crowd. A couple of young men in tuxes faltered and stopped their approach when Lucien gave them a predatory glare. The men looked at each other and silently agreed to look for someone 'not taken'. Tracy laughed and batted his hand away. He gracefully backed away, feigning ignorance.

"You are incorrigible!" she shot at him. The older couple they'd been talking to looked confused at the possessive gesture and resulting exchange. Tracy groaned inwardly. Great, now Dad's gonna be on my case about seeing older men!

Lucien smirked at Tracy, then frowned as her face fell. A glance at the astonished couple next to them told him what was bothering her. Wishing to spare her any trouble he smiled at the couple and leaned forward conspiratorially

"Sorry. A couple of young sharks looking to pick up a date. I thought I might convince them to look elsewhere. My son will not forgive me if I allow his partner to come to harm."

The other man nodded, looking very relieved.

"Your son is Tracy's partner?" his wife asked, clearing her throat nervously.

"Yes. Tracy found out that I'd been feeling a bit down lately. When she learned that I enjoyed shows, she kindly invited me to attend with her."

"Oh that's very nice of you, sweetheart," she exclaimed, taking Tracy's hand.

Tracy felt the amusement Lucien was having at her expense and decided to have a bit of her own as a payback.

"Oh, not at all. Dad gave me these tickets, my boyfriend didn't want to go, so when Nick told me his dad was feeling kinda blue and didn't get out much, I thought perfect! I get a polite gentleman on a date and Nick's dad gets out and on the town." Tracy could feel Lucien tensing behind her irritated but still amused.

"Oh, you know, maybe he could come to the country club functions! We have them every week and there's lots of people to socialize with there." The older woman leaned toward Lucien and winked. "Or get to know a little better if you want."

Lucien smiled and politely offered to consider her invitation. He could feel Tracy trembling with the effort not to laugh. Time to end this fiasco.

"Well it's been lovely, but we really must be going. I run a business and need to check if everything is all right. Weekends tend to be busy. Come, Tracy."

Tracy quickly said goodbye to the couple. She and Lucien wove threw the other guests and down to the valet area without a word. The valet brought up the car, held the door for her and they drove off. Unable to contain herself anymore, Tracy pulled into a parking lot and laughed until she cried.

Lucien glared daggers at her, but that only made her laugh harder. Finally, he gave in and softly laughed.

"What is so funny, Tracy?" he asked lightly.

"I… I just had this vision of you… at the country club… playing bingo… in golf pants," she squeaked out between gasps for air. He raised an eyebrow at the suggestion which caused another laughing episode. Finally, Tracy took a deep breath and managed to get herself under control.

"I'm sorry. But thanks for being such a good sport," she said laying a hand on his knee. Lucien picked her hand up and touched her fingertips to his lips in a feather touch kiss.

"Well, you know what they say. If you can't take it, don't dish it out." He squeezed her hand and let go but she was rewarded by seeing a genuine smile on his face.

"I need some coffee. Want to come or do you really need to get back to the Raven?"

"That was a simply an excuse. Urs, Vachon and Miklos can handle things just fine. I would like to accompany you for coffee."

"Great."

Twenty minutes later, Tracy and I were seated in, of all places, a donut shop. Tracy came back from the counter with two cups.

"Here. I got you a cup of tea," she said slipping the teabag into the tiny clutch she'd carried tonight. "I got a tall espresso, which is way too strong. Pour your hot water in my coffee and you can refill your cup."

I nodded at her thoughtfulness and followed her instructions, turning to the side so that the flask would be hidden from sight. There were other people nearby so I decided I'd better put the plastic lid back on the cup. We toasted each other and drank and it was my turn to laugh. She chuckled but looked at me mystified.

"Lucien, what's so funny?" she whispered.

I wiped away a blood tear with the napkin and leaned forward until our noses were just inches apart.

"Do you know," I whispered so only she would hear, "that this is the first time that I've ever drank out of a Styrofoam cup with a plastic lid?"

She had just taken a sip of her coffee as I finished speaking. Suddenly she made a small noise and clapped a hand to her mouth, holding very still for a few moments until she could swallow and gasp for air.

I sat back and enjoyed the sight of her. Nicholas and Vachon had never before let me get beyond being introduced to her before, and I had thought that she was too young to be of any interest to me. But sitting here at 1:30 in the morning, at a donut shop while dressed to the nines, I wondered what could possibly be more interesting than her?

I liked the way she laughed, her sense of humor. She was a delightful person.

"Thank you for inviting me to come with you, Tracy. I have enjoyed your company and the show immensely."

"I've had a really great time," she said, looking at me over the rim of her coffee cup.  
"Do I hear a 'but' ?" I inquired gently, sensing that she had more to say.  
Tracy fidgeted with her cup a moment, then looked right into my eyes.  
"I wish you would find someone you could talk to. Everyone is worried about you. Even Nick and Natalie."  
I stared into her eyes for a full minute. She met my gaze unflinchingly.  
"Maybe I have."  
"I hope so."  
"Will you come back to my home, Tracy? I promise my intentions are only to talk to you."  
"Yes. I will." Tracy smiled and finished her coffee, while I finished my drink. I took both cups to the trash and escorted her to the car. When she would have turned toward the Raven I stopped her.  
"No. Turn left here."  
"But the Raven is back that way," she said pointing in the direction of the bar.  
"Yes. But my home is to the left."  
She processed this information, then nodded agreement and turned left, following my directions to the townhouse. I opened the garage and she pulled her car in next to the Jaguar I'd bought last year.  
"Wow, nice car!" she whistled appreciatively. "Next time you drive!"  
Next time? That sounds promising. I led the way into the house and started a fire in the living room. I brought us each another glass of wine and we sat on the sofa together. She was looking around the house, taking it all in.  
"I like your house. It feels comfortable," she said turning to face me.  
"Thank you." I sat my glass of wine on the table. "I'm sure you know this, but so it has been said—"  
"Don't ever tell anyone the location of your house," she finished for me, with a smile, then with her finger drew a 'x' over her heart. "Cross my heart and hope to die."  
I stared at her in total astonishment. She put her glass down.  
"I do understand what's at stake here LaCroix. More than you think I do and probably more than you wish I do." She took my hand and looked closely at the signet ring I wore. It was a broad silver and gold band, finely engraved with a roman pattern. In the center was set a large black onyx. "I always wondered what this really looked like.  
"Lucien, I don't know much about you at all. No one will tell me anything, no matter how I ask it. I know, I shouldn't ask them to reveal anything about you. Vachon and Nick have both told me that a vampire can only tell of themselves, not of anyone else. But I've been watching and thinking while I've been in the Raven."  
"And what have you concluded through your observations?" I took another sip of the bloodwine, trying to appear casually indifferent to her admission.  
"Well," she began with deep breath, "I've come to realize through odd comments and the behavior of vampire patrons in the Raven that you are the undisputed ruler in this community. Even Nick considers you the ruler, although he challenges you more than anyone. That must mean that you are considerably older than any of them, so much so that they have no hope of overpowering or defeating you. I've seen how well you treat Vachon and Urs, even though they aren't your children. You treat the other young ones and even the mortal staff with the same even hand. They feel safe under your rule here. Comfortable. Cared for. Until lately."  
I said nothing, merely watched the fire through the glass of bloodwine I was holding. She studied me for a reaction, then continued.  
"Lately, the youngest vampires have been getting away with behavior you have fiercely disciplined for in the past. They're getting bolder and bolder by the day. You don't seem to notice or care. Your monologues have lost the fire and contrary attitudes that made people sit up and call in. Urs called me to the Raven earlier this week and asked me, Vachon and Natalie for help."  
I snapped my head back to face her. "She dared to tell Natalie?"  
"Yes, she dared. She loves you and she's willing to take any risk, even your anger at revealing anything about you to Natalie, if it will help! If it's any consolation, Natalie was less concerned than Vachon and I were."  
I snorted my opinion of Natalie and turned back to contemplating the fire through the glass of wine.  
"Urs told us that you weren't feeding properly," Tracy continued. "That you weren't sleeping much, if at all, weren't taking care of the bar. She's afraid that you will go into the sun. She doesn't want to lose you. We want to help you, Lucien. If only you'll let us." Tracy lapsed into silence for a few minutes.  
"When I was seventeen, a friend of mine shot himself in the head. We were all in shock." Tracy stood and walked to the fireplace. "He always seemed like the strong one, so sure of himself, so confident…" she whispered. "No one saw it coming. If only he'd given us some sign, maybe we could have helped him." She turned to face me. She had tears streaking her face, filling those beautiful blue eyes.  
"You've given us some signs. I'm not going to ignore them or minimize them. I don't want to go through that again. If you go, that leaves Nick in charge doesn't it?"  
After a moment's consideration, I nodded.  
"And he won't want it. So we'll either have chaos or everyone that has found refuge and solace here will be forced to move on before their time. Nick – Vachon."  
She turned back to the fire, beginning to cry more freely.  
"Do you love him?" I asked quietly.  
"Yes."  
"And should that be enough for me to remain?"  
She turned from the fire and crossed to the sofa, knelt and took the glass from my hand, before taking both of my hands in hers.  
"No. I'm not asking you to stay for me and Vachon, or for anyone else. I didn't mean that." She looked down a moment, idly turning the signet ring with her thumb. "I want you to stay because you want to. I wanted you to know that people cared about you, appreciated what you did for us, what we can do because you're here and looking out for us. And despite everyone's dire warnings that you can be very dangerous and I should keep away from you, I have had a wonderful time this evening. I like you."  
The quiet statement and the sincerity behind it shook me badly. I could feel my hands shaking slightly. She tightened her hold on them, rose and pulled me to my feet then gently wrapped her arms around me and pulled my head to her bare shoulder. I started to pull back from the intimacy of this and the nearness of her flesh but she tightened her grip.  
"No. Don't pull away, please. I trust you. Hold me and let me hold you," she whispered into my ear.  
I could have broken her grip easily. I didn't. I could feel her tears on my neck, sense the scent of her blood so close to me. I held on to her and we stood accepting each other's grief for several minutes. Finally we stepped back and sat next to each other on the sofa. I carefully reached out and wiped way her tears with my thumb.  
"Tracy, you are a beautiful and caring woman. Thank you."  
She rested her head on my shoulder and twined her fingers in mine. I do not know how long we sat together this way, but I gradually became aware that she had fallen asleep. I carefully pulled out of her embrace and laid her out more comfortably on the sofa. Retrieving a blanket and pillow from the bedroom, I removed her shoes and covered her then left her to sleep. I closed the blackout shutters early and went to the bedroom and sleep myself.


	5. Chapter 5 - A Chink in the Armor

Chapter 5

At 3 am, Nick called Tracy's apartment to see how the night had gone. No answer. Maybe they've gone back to the Raven, he thought. Urs and Vachon were anxious to know how it went too. He dialed the Raven.

"Miklos? It's Nick. Is Tracy there?"

"No? Let me talk to LaCroix." Nick got another negative reply. "They haven't come back yet?"

Damn him! Nick threw the cell phone down on the sofa. Natalie looked up in alarm.

"Nick? Did something go wrong?"

"I don't know, Nat. No one has seen or heard from them since they left for the show." Nick paced around the living room running his fingers through his hair. "I'm going to his townhouse to see if he's there."

"Nick, maybe Tracy just fell asleep and isn't answering her phone."

He looked relieved at that thought. "That could be. But I have to know for sure." He grabbed his coat and headed out into the night.

The short flight to Tracy's apartment did nothing to relieve his worry for his partner. All of the lights were out, the blackout drapes open. He hovered by her windows and extended his senses. No one was inside, human or vampire. Nick landed and walked into the parking garage, checking for Tracy's car. Not there. Nick pulled out his cell phone and dialed Tracy's cell phone. No answer. He took off for LaCroix's townhouse.

Landing on the front steps he reached out with his senses. One vampire, one human inside. Tracy! Nick reached for the link between him and LaCroix. He's sleeping? He listened harder to hear the rhythm of Tracy's heart. Slow and steady, no signs of fluttering. Is she sleeping too? Nick shook his head, and dug for his keys. LaCroix had given him a key to the townhouse after the shooting. Quietly, he opened the door and slipped inside.

There was no sign that his sire was aware that he was there. Not a good sign Coming into the living room he saw Tracy's shoes sitting beside the sofa and the edge of a blanket hanging over the arm. Nick crept closer. Tracy lay on the sofa tucked under the blanket and sound asleep. He carefully pulled the blanket away from her neck and shoulders. No bite marks. Nick eased the blanket around her shoulders and silently left the townhouse, locking the door behind him. He tested the link with LaCroix before he left. Still asleep, no sign that he had even known that Nick was there. Nick hesitated outside the townhouse for a few minutes then headed back to the loft and Natalie.

She was dozing on the sofa when Nick got back, but picked her head up and looked bleary-eyed at Nick. "Did you find her? Is she all right?"

Nick crossed the room and wrapped his arms around her. "Yes, I found her. She's at LaCroix's townhouse, sound asleep on his couch."

Natalie's eyes widened as she pulled out of Nick's embrace. "He took her to his house? Did he bite her? You didn't leave her there!" she exclaimed clutching at Nick's hands.

Nick took hold of her hands and caught her gaze, trying to will her to be calm. "Yes, he took her to his townhouse. Actually, she took him to his townhouse, as her car is parked in his garage. No, he did not bite her. Yes, I left her there. She was totally asleep, covered in a blanket. He was asleep too, in his bedroom."

Natalie started to protest, but Nick put his hand up to stop her. "I think she's safe with him. He'd never tell a mortal where his lair is and yet he let her drive him there, put the car in the garage and come in for a drink. He never woke, never knew when I arrived or when I left. That's not like him, Natalie. It's dangerous for a vampire not to sense someone coming into their lair. Especially their own childe." Nick let his hands drop and went to stand in front of the fireplace. "Something is seriously wrong in his life right now and I don't know how but Tracy seems to have found a chink in the armor. She's safe for tonight. I'll talk to her tomorrow night at work"

Tracy woke up slowly. She gazed, puzzled, at the fireplace in front of her for a minute before she realized that she was at LaCroix's house. She sat up, letting the blanket fall away then grimaced at the condition of her dress. Off to the dry cleaners for sure! Wonder what time it is? She stood up and stretched, looking for a clock when her body reminded her of a very urgent need. Great! Where's the bathroom? Didn't come up in conversation last night.

Tracy padded softly around the great room and down the hallway, finding a bathroom outside two open and unused guest rooms. She relieved herself, then started pulling the hairpins out. Good job, Vetter. If you'd stayed awake you could have gone home to sleep or at least slept in one of the guest beds. Looking at herself in the reflection she stuck her tongue out at the wild hairdo and smeared make up. She started looking through the vanity drawers, finding a hairbrush and other assorted amenities. Even after brushing it was still wild. Must be from the hairspray. God I really need a shower!

Tracy set the water temperature and opened the bathroom door. She'd seen a closet in the hallway. Maybe there were towels there. Glancing toward the master suite, she saw that the door was standing open. LaCroix must be awake.

"Sleep well, Detective?"

Tracy gasped and spun around at the soft, mocking voice right behind her. Before she could think to stop herself, she slapped him on the shoulder and hissed "Don't do that!"

LaCroix stood in total shock. Tracy realized what she'd done, who this was.

"Oh, God. I'm so sorry. You scared me, I thought you were still sleeping."

LaCroix just blinked at her. No one had ever dared to slap him before. Especially in his own house. Finally he seemed to recover from the affront and fix his glare on the perpetrator. Unfortunately, she was grinning at him and the glare was wasted.

"Do you have any towels? I'd like to take a shower." Tracy asked, wryly indicating the condition of her hair.

This was not the response he had expected to produce.

"What?"

"Towels. I want to take a shower."

"Towels. Yes. In the closet there."

"Thanks." Tracy slipped past him, grabbed a couple of towels and disappeared back into the bathroom, leaving one very confused vampire standing in the hallway.

LaCroix stood in the hallway for another full minute, trying to comprehend that he had been unable to cow this young woman. Finally, he shook his head and headed back to his bedroom. Her dress is ruined. What is she going to put on? He thought about what was left here, from Janette, but decided against it. Tracy was taller and a size or two bigger than Janette. And Janette's clothes were, quite frankly, seductive and low cut. No, she'll just have to put that dress back on to drive home, he thought and entered the master bath to turn off the water in the whirlpool tub. He poured a fragrant bit of orange oil into the water. The scent reminded him of his villa in Rome. He stripped out of the robe and pajamas and sank into the tub, almost immediately drifting into sleep.

Tracy, having finished her shower, was just realizing that she had nothing else to wear. Damn! Wait! The extra work clothes in the trunk. Wonder where he is. She stuck her head out of the bathroom and listened but heard nothing. The door to the master suite was closed again. What was that smell? Oranges? She decided she'd have to get the clothes herself and wrapping the bath sheet tightly around her, she tiptoed across the great room to the garage. The moment she opened the door the house was filled with a blaring klaxon as the alarm system sounded.

Tracy never had time to push the door closed. She was seized from behind and spun around, shoved roughly against the wall. Standing in front of her was Lucien LaCroix, eyes red with anger and fangs bared. She held her breath, hoping he would recognize her and not kill her. When she felt his grip relax, she let out her breath in a huff and put her hands up over her ears. This was a mistake. The bath sheet slipped suddenly, falling to the floor at her feet. She blushed all over and looked down to grab the towel. Also a mistake. He was wet. And he was nude. She blushed even harder and heard him chuckle softly as he stepped aside and punched in the code to stop the alarm.

Tracy snatched the towel up and held it to herself as she met his amused gaze. Defiantly, she stuck out her chin and glared. "What's so funny?"

"The look on your face, my dear, was priceless. Well worth the noise." He turned to face her. Tracy hurriedly looked away. "I'm sorry. I should have turned off the alarm when I arose. I didn't take into account that you would wish to leave before sundown."

Tracy remained silent, looking anywhere but at him. God, how can he be so casual just standing here nude? "I was just trying to get my extra clothes from the car. I didn't hear you, thought you'd gone back to sleep. Sorry."

LaCroix chuckled again and plucked the car keys from her hand. "I'll get them. Go back to the bathroom."

The moment the door to the garage shut, Tracy fled, shutting the bathroom door and leaning against it. Oh my god, she moaned. I can't believe it. He saw me naked! If Nick ever hears about this I'll never live it down!" She stood there in disbelief for a moment, jumped at the light knock on the door.

"Your clothes are outside the door. If you don't mind, I think I'll return to my bath." She waited to hear the door to the master suite close before she carefully cracked open the door. Then she reached down and snatched the clothes, her car keys on top of the pile.

Suddenly she sat down on the edge of the tub and laughed. How can I ever listen to his radio show without that picture in my head? She shook her head as the picture came up again. Then she frowned. He had said he'd wanted to come here to talk. But then he'd just listened while I talked. Then I fell asleep. I don't know when I'd ever be able to convince him to talk again. It's now or never, Vetter.

She started to dress, but this crazy idea came into her head. All through last night, what made him respond to her the most was boldness on her part. Things that surprised him and kept him off balance. Well, after acting like a blushing virgin this will certainly surprise him. Tracy slipped back out into the hallway and into the master suite. The scent of oranges here was overwhelming. She found his robe and tied it on then slipped into the master bath.

LaCroix was half dozing in the water again when he heard her enter the bedroom. He assumed that she was going to tell him that she was leaving. Then he heard her enter the bathroom. My, my, but she is getting bold, he thought, keeping his eyes closed. She had come very near to the tub but he was not at all ashamed to be seen. After all, he was a Roman. Still he kept his eyes closed to spare her the embarrassment at being caught looking.

Nothing in the world could have prepared him for the feeling of her hands, covered with the orange oil mixture, kneading his shoulders and neck muscles. His eyes flew open to find her wearing his robe and smiling benignly at him.

"We never did get around to talking last night," she said quietly.

LaCroix stared at her for a moment, unable to think of a response.

"You're a very good listener, Lucien. But I'd like to return the favor. So this time you talk and I'll listen. Anything you'd like to talk about."

LaCroix smiled then. "Anything?"

Tracy blushed again but held his gaze firmly. "Anything."

LaCroix was about to make a teasing retort, but suddenly realized that he had no desire for that old game. He sighed and closed his eyes again, relaxing into the massage she was giving him. "That feels good," he whispered.

Tracy said nothing, just continued massaging the knotted muscles.

"Have you ever despaired of living, Tracy?" he said so quietly she had to strain to hear him.

"Yes."

"Tell me about it."

"You're supposed to be doing the talking," she chided softly. He was silent for so long, she thought he'd fallen asleep again.

"Will you tell me someday?"

Tracy looked at LaCroix, startled. His voice had sounded almost pleading. "Yes," she responded. "Later on."

He nodded minutely, accepting the delay.

"The water's cold now," she said, rising and picking up the bath sheet he'd laid out for himself, unfolding it and holding it out to him. "Come on, out of the tub."

LaCroix complied obediently, letting her wrap the towel around him. They walked into the bedroom and she sat him on the edge of the bed.

"Lie down, Lucien. Your muscles are so knotted up." She pushed him gently and he lay down, turning onto his belly. She pulled the towel away, leaving it covering his buttocks, then began a more proper and full massage of his neck and back than she'd been able to do from the tub. He found himself drifting off again. The sound of her voice brought him floating back to awareness.

"What?" he asked her sleepily.

"Do you despair of living?" she asked again. She felt him tense under her hands for a moment but then his whole body relaxed as he gave in to the despair he felt in his heart. Tracy didn't need a blood bond to feel the depths of the emotion he was feeling. She silently continued her massage, offering physical comfort.

"Yes," he whispered.

"Why?"

"Nicholas has left me. What reason is there to continue on without him?"

Tracy was taken aback by this. She sat back but continued to lightly rub his back. After a moment, LaCroix rolled, carefully keeping the towel covering his groin to look at her.

"Do you know how old I am, Tracy?" he asked, tracing a finger down the side of her face. She shook her head. "I am almost 2000 years old. I was born Roman, in the city of Pompeii. I became a vampire the night that Vesuvius erupted. In my mortal life, I was a general in the Roman army. In all that time, I've only found one person who makes this existence worth continuing."

"Nicholas," she whispered.

"Nicholas. I love him, Tracy."

"He loves you too." LaCroix shook his head but Tracy persisted. "He does! He told me so the other night in the car when we were on patrol. He said that was 'part of the problem'." Tracy watched as hope entered his eyes for a brief moment and was replaced by the despair once again.

"You misunderstand. Nicholas and I are using love in very different frames of reference. Nicholas loves me as a father, as his maker. The blood bond gives us that bit of comfort. But while I cherish Nicholas as my son, my creation, it is as a lover that I love him and would have him love me." LaCroix looked intently into Tracy's eyes, closely watching her reactions to this information.

Tracy blushed and looked away briefly, before meeting his gaze again. "And now he's engaged to Natalie," she sighed.

"Yes. I found my soul mate and he has found his. Unfortunately, I am not his." LaCroix let his hands drop to his lap.

Geez, and he dumped him in front of everyone in the Raven! Nick, you're an asshole! Tracy gently put her fingers under his chin and lifted his face to meet hers.

"I can only imagine how much you're hurting. I haven't found my soul mate yet. But you do still have friends here who care for you very much, who are desperate to help you, if only you'll let them." Tracy leaned forward and kissed him on the forehead. "I have to go. I've got a mandatory class this evening and then I have to go to work. Besides I'm starving!"

LaCroix chuckled in spite of himself at this last statement. Tracy stood and stuck her tongue out at him. "I'll bring your robe back in a minute," she promised and disappeared back to the guest bathroom. LaCroix remained where he was until she did so.

"Here you go. I'll call you later." He nodded and Tracy started to leave then turned back. "Play a song for me tonight." Now he was amused.

"Which one?"

"Shameless, by Garth Brooks."

LaCroix blinked disbelievingly at her while she grinned ear to ear. Finally he found his voice.

"I don't believe I have that song."

"I've got the CD in my car. I'll leave it on the table."

"Tracy, that genre doesn't really fit on the show!" he protested.

"Please?"

LaCroix lay back and groaned. Why does she have to have those blue eyes! "Very well, Tracy. Leave it on the table and I'll play it for you tonight."

"Thanks. Later!" He heard her pull out of the garage and the door closing again before he rose and put on his robe.

What have I gotten myself into? he thought as he poured another glass of wine and sat near the fireplace to plan the night's monologue.


	6. Chapter 6

Nick was sitting at his desk, impatiently drumming his fingers, waiting for Tracy to arrive at work. She came in a few minutes after 7:30 pm, joking with one of the uniformed officers.

"Hey, Nick." She plopped down in the chair and grinned at his obvious impatience. "Waiting for me?"

Nick glowered at her, then smiled. "Yes. How'd it go last night?"

Tracy leaned back in the chair contentedly. "It went really great. The show was wonderful and we both enjoyed it. We turned a lot of heads. I'll tell you one thing, Nick, LaCroix sure knows how to dress to kill." Tracy caught Nick's startled reaction to the phrase and smiled slyly at him. "So to speak."

Nick burst out laughing. "Touché."

Tracy grinned and sat forward, leaning across the desks. "He was really nice and polite, even when we got stuck talking to some of my father's friends. We went out for coffee afterwards, then back to his place to talk."

Nick decided not to mention his visit to the townhouse. "Did you find out what's bothering him?"

Tracy's face became very serious. "Yes, I did. But I can't tell you until we're in the car."

Nick grabbed his keys and coat. "Let's go then. We've go to pick up those last two reports from Natalie anyway."

A few minutes later they were in the car and on their way to the morgue.

"So what did he say?" Nick asked anxiously.

"He said that he 'despaired of living'."

"LaCroix said that?" Tracy nodded. "What else did he say? Did he give any reasons why?"

"Nick, you may not want to hear this."

"Just tell me, Tracy."

"Okay, but you asked for it. When I asked him why he felt this way he said and I quote 'Nicholas has left me. What reason is there to continue on without him?'"

Nick braked abruptly and pulled to the side of the road amidst protesting horns from drivers behind him.

"Geez, Nick, you trying to get me killed?" Tracy complained.

"He said that to you? What else did he say?" Nick demanded, ignoring her comment and the car horns.

"That he realized that while you loved him, it wasn't in the same way that he loved you. He was still holding out hope, especially after you got shot, but –" Tracy stopped, shrugging.

"But I got engaged to Natalie instead," Nick finished.

"Yes."

Nick stared out the window for a few minutes, thinking furiously, while Tracy looked out the passenger window, trying to give him some privacy.

"Tracy, will you stay in the car when we get to the morgue? I want to talk to Nat about this."

"Sure."

They drove the last few minutes in silence. Nick slipped into the lab, clearing his throat to get Natalie's attention.

"Hey, Nick," she said absently, not looking up from the microscope.

"Nat. Do you have those two reports yet?"

She gestured in the direction of her desk. "All set for you."

Nick picked up the reports, leafed through them and then sat on the edge of the desk. Natalie looked up when he didn't speak.

"Nick? What's the matter?"

"Nat, Tracy found out what's bothering LaCroix."

"And that is…?" she prompted when he didn't go on.

Nick looked down at the floor. "That I've left him and there isn't a reason to go on living."

Natalie was silent a moment. "That's it? Come on, Nick, it's just another ploy to get you to go back to him, surely you can see that?" She shook her head and came over to Nick, taking him by the shoulders. "Nick, he's just jerking your chain!"

"Then why would he tell Tracy?"

"Nick, you told me yourself that he was a general, a strategist. The direct method hasn't worked. Maybe he figures if it comes from someone other than him that you'll believe it." Natalie studied him for a moment. "And it seems to have worked," she sighed.

Nick looked up into her eyes angrily. "Are you sure, Nat?" he asked, echoing her own words back at her. "His words were that he despaired of living. I can't take the chance that this isn't real."

Natalie met Nick's anger with her own. "He's a big boy, Nick, been around an awful long time. He lived for 1200 years without you in his life, I'm sure he'll manage again. And even if he did decide to end it all, it's his decision."

Nick stared in disbelief at her. "Then why were you so upset when your friend committed suicide. It was her decision."

"That's different and you know it!" Natalie spat out, standing and going back to the microscope.

"How is it different?" Nick demanded. When she didn't answer he grabbed her by the elbow and spun her to face him. "How?"

"Because she was human and he's a vampire. Because she was still alive and he's technically been dead since 79 A.D. Because she was only 32 and he is almost 2000 years old."

Nick took a step back, shaking his head in disbelief. "I am a vampire, Nat," he said quietly. "I have technically been dead since 1228 A.D. I am nearly 800 years old. Where does that leave us?"

"Us? When were we talking about us, this was about suicide," Nat replied abruptly, pulling her elbow from his grasp.

"Nat, if you marry me, he'll be your father-in-law." She snorted derisively. "He's my father, Nat. We need his permission. We need his protection."

"And if he's gone we don't need that anymore, do we?"

Nicholas backed away from her, shaking his head. "If he's gone, we can't marry. You can't remember anything about vampires."

"Why!? Why does everything between us depend on him? Haven't you noticed that you can't do or think anything without him getting involved and twisting it somehow? How he strings you along with half-truths and promises of answers so that you'll act the way he wants you to act?"

"Natalie. He's my father. He's my master. Yes, he's done unspeakable wrongs to me over the centuries. He's also been there to make everything right again. Like he was when I was shot."

"Nick, I really don't want to talk about this here anymore."

"Natalie, if LaCroix commits suicide, or even just leaves Toronto, you could become a target for the vampire community or the Enforcers. Tracy too. We need him. I need him." Only the sound of Natalie's breathing could be heard. "I'll talk to you later on this morning."


	7. Chapter 7

It's been a long week, I sighed, filling out the payroll reports in my office at the Raven. Urs and Vachon have been treating me like fragile porcelain. Urs insists on coming home with me each night. I argued initially, but she was determined and I didn't really want to be alone anyway, so I agreed. Tracy hasn't been in all week, although she called and thanked me for playing that song for her. Nicholas and Natalie seem to be at odds, from what I can sense from him through our link. I sighed again and took a sip of bloodwine. T.G.I.F.!

Finally, I finished the papers and sealed them in the envelope for the courier. Two hours until opening, I went into the bar to help them finish setting up. Still an hour to go. I decided to go into the sound booth and pick out a pre-recorded show. I just couldn't face any callers tonight. Perhaps, I'd pick a mortal from the crowd tonight and amuse myself with her. Oh yes, I snorted as if any one of those just barely legal youngsters could amuse me. I put on my greatcoat and headed for the door. Predictably, Urs came rushing over.

"Where are you going?"

"For my evening constitutional, Urs."

"Want some company?" "No." I left as quickly as possible. I didn't wish to be so abrupt but I needed to get away from her fussing over me. I pulled up the collar of my coat and headed off in no particular direction.

I don't know how long I walked. I suddenly realized that. Stupid! I berated myself for this lack of concentration. A damned fledging mistake. Looking around to see where I was, I found myself standing in front of the donut shop that Tracy and I had stopped at last week. I wonder if she's working tonight. I shook my head and went into the shop, ordering a hot tea and sat in the last booth, watching the people coming and going.

Suddenly, I was aware that someone was standing right next to me. I looked up into Tracy's eyes. Then I felt him. Nicholas, standing near the cash register at the front. Tracy slipped into the booth with me, blocking Nicholas from my sight.

"LaCroix? Are you all right? What are you doing here?" she asked, rapid-fire, putting her hand over mine.

"Tracy. I'm fine, just people watching. I see you're on duty this evening."

"Yeah, we pulled a short shift weekend, 7pm to 1am."

"Well, don't leave your partner standing there looking uncomfortable for my sake." I smiled briefly at her and looked out the window.

"Okay," she said quietly. She rose with a final pat on my hand and left. I closed my eyes, wishing she could stay, wishing I'd asked her what she was doing after work. Suddenly there was movement in the booth again. I opened my eyes to see both Nicholas and Tracy sliding into the booth.

"Nicholas."

"LaCroix."

Tracy rolled her eyes at both of us. "Okay, look you two. Enough with the wounded pride and ego thing okay? You've been together a long time," she said emphasizing 'long'. "I know that you both care very deeply about the other. Time you both started acting that way."

Nicholas was playing with the cap on the bottled water he'd bought for her to drink later. She glared first at him, then at me, and back to him. I chuckled, bringing not only her gaze but Nicholas' as well to my own.

"How are you, Nicholas?"

"I'm fine. How are you?"

"Apparently rather distracted, to have been surprised twice in five minutes by your young partner. And Natalie? Is she well?"

"She's fine."

"Good." I lapsed into silence, having reached the end of my small talk repertoire. Nicholas bravely jumped into the gap.

"Not doing your show tonight?"

"No."

"Why?" I looked up from the stir stick I was twisting and was hit with a wave of concern washing through our link.

"Taking the night off. It is of no consequence, Nicholas."

"LaCroix, Tracy told me what you said to her last week."

Tracy ignored the look of outrage I gave her, even daring to smile back at me.

"LaCroix, I do love you. I just don't love you as a lover. That role belongs to Natalie. But you're my master, my father."

"Nicholas, please." He fell silent. "I know that now. Forgive me if I am having a difficult time accepting the truth. Go back to work."

"No," he refused. "I don't want to hear that you've gone into the sun. I'm worried about you. Please tell me how I can help you!" he pleaded, reaching across the table and taking hold of both my hands in his own.

I felt a wave of fatigue coming on, closed my eyes and waited it out. When I opened them again, Tracy's hands had joined Nicholas' hands on mine and both were openly concerned and worried.

"Nicholas, Tracy, please. Go back to work. Come to the Raven when your shift is over and I promise to be there. We'll talk then."

They shared a look before agreeing to my request. Both rose and looked carefully at me again. I waved them away and they finally returned to Nicholas' car and their patrol. I left a twenty on the table for the waitress and continued my aimless wandering.

I have no idea how much longer I walked. I circled the downtown streets and headed toward the lake, sitting on a bench and staring out at the dark water. I was startled out of my reverie by a woman's voice behind me. Jumping to my feet, I realized that it was pouring and I was soaked. Just how long have I been sitting here? I thought wildly, remembering that I'd promised to be at the Raven by 1am. There was a woman standing under an umbrella watching me. When I met her gaze, she spoke again.

"Are you all right?"

I forced myself to relax. Just another concerned citizen.

"Yes, thank you. Just enjoying the evening."

"Enjoying? It's pouring!"

"So I noticed. Thank you." I swept around the bench and started back toward the Raven. Then I turned back. She was watching me closely. "Do you know what time it is?" I asked her.

She looked at her watch. "It's 11:45pm. Are you sure you're all right? Can I give you a ride somewhere?"

I turned away. Plenty of time to make it to the Raven. "No, thank you." As I hurried away, I didn't notice her stoop to the ground and pick something up.


End file.
